You know what really grinds my gears? Movie edition


Eddie Sheehy and Matt Merlino

It has been quite some time since the last installment of “What Grinds My Gears.” For this edition, I thought it would be fun to focus solely on the annoyances observed while attending movies. I also wanted to incorporate not only my opinions, but also that of RMU Sentry Media’s Arts & Entertainment Editor, Eddie Sheehy, to really make this WGMG that much more authentic. Get your popcorn and candy ready everyone, the show’s about to begin.

(M) …You know what really grinds my gears? People who ask a million questions during a movie.

I don’t know why, but I feel like every time I watch a movie where I have a specific background knowledge, I will be bombarded with questions throughout the entire thing. Look, just because I know a little information regarding the movie does not mean that I know every plot detail. Just watch and I’m sure you’ll be able to piece everything together. It’s really not that difficult.

(E) …You know what really grinds my gears? People who clap at the end of movies.

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this fact, but everyone involved in making that film you just watched can’t hear you. Clapping at the end of a movie is utterly pointless, and not only that, it’s obnoxious.

(M) …You know what really grinds my gears? Obnoxious drinkers.

Now, this one could be used to describe multiple different scenarios, but for the sake of the topic, I am referring to when people slurp through their straws when their drink is clearly empty. I am guilty of this, but I only do it at restaurants when a server is slacking and I need a refill. Subtle, right? It’s not subtle when people do it in a theater… During a movie… That I payed $10.75 to see.

Come on people. Not cool.

(E) …You know what really grinds my gears? When I get carded while buying my movie tickets.

People tell me all the time I look young, I get that, but come on, do I really look like I’m sixteen? Twenty. I’m twenty years old. Shy of buying alcohol I can do pretty much anything I want, and you’re concerned that I’m trying to sneak into the 4 p.m. matinee showing of Kingsman? Give me a break.

(M) …You know what really grinds my gears? When people with young children say that movies are funny when they are actually terrible.

The older I have become, the less stupid stuff I find funny. Movies have to be clever, raunchy or just downright outrageous to be considered a good comedy in my eyes.

For example, I love Adam Sandler, and I will defend any of his early movies to the death, but when somebody tells me that I need to see “Jack and Jill” or “Grown Ups 2” because they are hilarious, I instantly begin to question that person’s credibility. By no means are either of those movies even remotely funny. I get it, your kid laughed, but that doesn’t mean I will. I’m all for stupid humor, but only when it’s actually funny.

(E) …You know what really grinds my gears? Children in a movie theater.

I try to avoid this situation at all costs by going to see movies with a younger demographic later at night, but no matter what, it always seems like there’s that one parent who thought that 11 p.m. was an appropriate time to bring little Timmy and Suzy to the movies. I firmly believe that there should be movie screening times for adults only, especially for movies aimed at children. Just because I want to experience The LEGO Movie or Frozen in theaters does not mean I want to hear some little pipsqueak “ooh” and “ahh” throughout the entire hour-and-a-half run time.

(M) …You know what really grinds my gears? People who love terrible movies.

Much like the idea of finding a movie funny, it blows my mind when people find terrible movies to be great. The best example of this came when Eddie and I went to see a screening of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” last summer. That movie was the worst piece of crap I have ever seen on the big screen, yet people were saying it was “awesome” and “the best” as we were walking out of the theater. I’m not a movie critic, but I know when a movie is downright bad.